summer break programming 2.0 🌀
annual recs list: what I’ve read, watched, eaten & learned
Hi, it’s been eons since my last confession. I was waiting until things didn’t feel like they were wilting. But in case that never comes, I’m writing from the wilt.
I keep asking people if they remember a time when the news felt this grim.
I finally wrote something personal, but now doesn’t feel like the time to share it. Then again, there’s never been a right time to publicly process my feelings, yet I do it because… well, it’s the only topic I can write about. I know my range. I don’t know how to write about the news or global crises—just about what I’m feeling and learning.
So I stick to what I know: I have a lot to learn. Just because I write a Substack about something doesn’t mean I’ve cured it—it just means I’m aware. And self-awareness is merely the first step to change, which implies there are… (annoyingly) more steps.
It’s too daunting to think about how far I have to go and how fast time is moving, so instead, I'm just trying to keep moving—even if it’s in the wrong direction.
This summer, I’m skipping steps. Starting mid-sentence. Playing emotional hopscotch.
So before we get back to processing and emotional inventory, let’s ease in with something lighter: our annual summer break list.
→ What I’ve read 📚
→ What I’ve learned 🧠
→ What I’ve listened to 🎧
→ What I’ve watched 📺
→ What I’ve eaten 🍽️
Would love to know what you’ve been into—tell me in the comments.
READ:
There’s so much good stuff on Substack lately—and also can’t keep up with any.
I’ve never related so much to a now obsolete mascot.“He became a strange artifact from a strange time. A symbol of Sony’s internal conflict as the world moved faster than the company could adapt. And yet, there’s something likable about Plato. He wasn’t flashy or attention-seeking. He drifted through the noise without trying to stand out…”
Free Nancy Esting - I bought a copy of this book after the author was at Vidiots introducing a screening of My Dinner with Andre. The author was there not only because he, too, loved the film that was about to play, but because he wrote a book with a similar plot: two people talking. I bought it that night, but just finally got around to it.
*Note: If you want book recs from someone much more equipped than I, may I direct you once again to
publication, ‘Wait have you read this…’ A recent issue covered, My Best Friend’s Wedding!
Yasi’s Oasis reportage - I’ve been kinda glued to this whole thing. I guess I just like the fact that the stranger sitting next to me on the plane is reading about Noel and Liam on his phone, and I just overheard someone on the subway talking about going this summer, just nice to have some collective fascination around something mostly good that brings a lot of people joy and doesn’t cause much harm. I listened to a total of 8 hours of Oasis history (part 1 and part 2) on the masterpiece of a podcast I’m a longtime superfan of, Bandsplain. And of its host
in general, including .Teen Girls in America - because I am a teen girl.
Video stars ⭐️- is it me or is this just tv? Like how this is basically blogging.
LEARNED:
ON RESENTMENT
I’m learning this lesson so slowly I’m not sure it’ll ever make it past intellectual understanding and into actual integration.
I’ve known resentment is bad—that it only hurts me—and I’ve heard the 12-step saying for years: holding onto resentment is like drinking poison. I understood that part. But recently, Lily reframed it in a way that finally clicked:
Resentment happens when you break your own boundary.
She noticed I was overwhelmed, and pointed out that when I’m in that state, even a nice text from a friend wanting to make plans feels like an intrusion.
Related, she also clocked how everything takes me a super long time, so any distraction—no matter how fun—can feel like an attack on the time I have to complete the task in front of me.
It’s my job to set, keep, and communicate boundaries around my time and energy. That’s hard, especially when I’d rather see friends than do the things I’ve promised myself I’d get done. But if I don’t hold the boundary, resentment builds—so it’s on me to manage that and prevent friction in relationships. Which leads to another useful slogan:
“If you don’t heal what hurts you, you'll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.”
ON CHANGE
found in my phone notes:
LISTENED TO:
ON THE GARAGE DOOR CLOSING
I’ve been listening to every Maron episode since the announcement. After 16 years he is ending his show. I’m sad, not because I never missed an episode, but because I guess I thought he'd always be in his garage recording. I liked knowing a new episode of WTF was there, if I needed one. It’s disorienting to since in 2013 I emulated him when I started mine. Whenever someone would ask what my show is like, I’d always say interviews, you know like Maron but way less funny, with less famous guests. His show showed me I loved long audio-only conversations and now the majority of podcasts are listened to on YouTube.
Those are my feelings about his ending, you can hear his in the place where he's processed his feelings for 16 years, the WTF episode intros:
“…When you take an element out of your life, it's horrifying. It's painful. But on the other side of that, all of a sudden, you open up life to other possibilities, whatever they may be, whether they're professional or personal, or just space. And there is an elevating feeling to that, but it's grounded in sadness,
terror, you know, all that...”
The intro for the episode with Josh Homme was quite moving. He talks about getting into a great volley in a conversation with someone unexpected and how that can happen anywhere; you don’t have to have microphones between you. I made a clip of it here if you’d like to listen to the part I’m referring to without listening to the full episode. And another letter to WTF, where I weirdly transcribed some….
MUSIC
A playlist I made for my friends.
Anticipating new Alex G made me listen to old Alex G more than usual. And I really like the two new songs so far. Made this to try to convert Captain a few years ago.
Fresh Lorde album!
If you related to this one about bodies and eating, track 9 is for you/us.
More Wet Leg too! Their new tiny desk : )
Heard about this song from Yasi’s
.This brought me a lot of joy - I’ve watched it about a dozen times, Yasi said it best about Olivia here when she wrote, “Between this and The Breeders opening for her on tour and her music sounding like Veruca Salt (positive), we must absolutely tip our hats to her Gen X parents.”
WATCHED:
TV WITH OTHERS
The Stick - yes it appears to be about golf, (stay with me) I too believe golf to be —“a good walk, spoiled,” as Mark Twain once said. So a show about the sport never would've been at the top of my list.
But it's actually about friendship, grief, aging, differences between generations, and growing up. And gosh I love an ensemble cast, especially when an unlikely group becomes a family. The main character, Santi Wheeler, is played by the extremely cool Peter Dager, who I think is a teen star the likes of Joshua Jackson—which I mean as the highest compliment.
I knew about the show because Marc Maron is in it. He’d talk about filming it on his podcast, so I was intrigued, but I’m not sure I’d ever have made the commitment to (as most people say about tv shows now) “just get through the first few episodes…”
Luckily, when I visited my dad, who literally lives on a golf course, he said they’d been watching it. I watched the next episode which landed me smack dab in the middle of the series, so I was hooked. Perhaps the key to watching a show is starting a few episodes in and having a person fill in any gaps for you, Google will do, but I famously don’t watch tv alone—I like tv as a group activity. I know I'm in the minority on that.
Watching with others leads jumping in late, and in an era of streaming that’s rare. I miss casually watching a movie that’s 3/4 over because it’s on, then asking someone to fill you in. Or just wondering….
Do we ever wonder now that we can just look it up? That can’t be good…
perhaps without tv show plots to ponder, our brains speculate about real situations, thus snowballing reality into a drama.
When I watched the final episode of Baby Reindeer with someone, he said I was cheating, like skipping to the last page of a book.
And with all the time and money that goes into each episode not a one should go to waste, but is it better to watch the final episode than to not watch at all because you can’t watch them all? Idk… give non-linear viewing a go…
It worked with The Stick… start at episode 3 as I did… you’ll figure it out.
*My new year’s resolution was to watch tv alone I haven’t but the year is young!*
Also with others… I wept through an episode of this with Sacha and Mike. The one about Nora/Awkwafina was so touching and it made me want seaweed soup.
On the plane (technically with others) I watched this odd movie I loved as a kid. Gosh it’s wild to notice how I based my identity on rom coms as a grown-up….
Holy Pepperoni 🐌 - Best of alllllll Anj and Hannah Rose made a new episode of their children’s show
! I learned a lot and was thoroughly entertained and I am (unfortunately) a grown up. You can watch the episode here.
ATE:
Jicama - We’ll be here all day if I try to explain this long term relationship, just try it with lime and sea salt, and if you are my friend I’m sorry it is all I offer you.
Frozen grapes- My freezer is on the fritz, but last week at my mom’s in Michigan in record humidity, I was reminded that few things are more satisfying when hot.
Raw Rev bars: Freeze these bad boys too. About a year ago when I wrote about snacks here, I wrote this review of them: While working for a different bar company that gave me theirs for free, I’d still buy Raw Rev with the money from a salary I earned working for their competitor bar. If that’s not a glowing review I don’t know what is.
Yes, after that, they did give me a code: katiedalebout for a discount. They didn’t send me any for free though, buttttttttt something better happened
Groce Out had 12 bars for .99 cents. I bought them out, Zoë said she could always count on me for a PB bar when she needed one that year. I felt so abundant, to be rich in PB bars is to be poor in nothing.
Snacklins- God i’m addicted to these things. BBQ is my number 1, used to be Chesapeake, but switched, who knows… if I play my cards right, maybe this time next year I’ll have a code for these too…
Bite Sized- Kate’s recs are some of the best on the internet. Click here in this week’s for LA community support portion.
Murakami said, “If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking.”
So maybe something in this list by a real-life human girl with a jicama addiction— pops you out of your algorithm.
See you SOON with the thing I wrote about indirect communication (my specialty), followed by some journal prompts disguised as therapy questions. In that order, or not.
Chronology is a construct. Thanks for jumping in wherever you did.
kd
ps. give me your recs! or sign my yearbook?
2nice + 2b = 4gotten xxx
NEW PODCAST EPISODE…
1. Brilliant, useful and relatable as always.
2. Wet Leg opened for Harry Styles in 2021 and I didn’t catch them bc I didn’t know who they were. Now I’m bummed I didn’t arrive earlier to catch their show.
3. Your goal was to watch more tv solo, mine was to actually read some books. Still on the same book (Pachinko) and it’s July. Bc unlike you, I have a legit tv addiction.
4. On the topic of watching tv w/ others, the author of the Anxious Generation said the caveat to the destructive nature of screen time is watching tv with others!
“Resentment happens when you break your own boundary.”
Daymnnn it’s only 9:30 on a Monday morning and I’ve been called in beautifully🤣
Much needed reframe thank you for sharing sweetheart✨