half of us believe in magic, do you?
the between week and annual ode to Beginners.
December 29, 2021
I learned the British slang term crimbo-limbo from Sacha for the week when none of us really know what day it is. Last week on the flight to Michigan, I watched Beginners. It’s the film that writer and director Mike Mills made about his dad. His film 20th Century Women is one of my favorites but I hadn't seen Beginners.
It felt correct to watch a movie about parents on my way across the country to see mine. There’s a scene where the character Anna is gazing out the window of her hotel room and she says,
“People in the building are like us. Half of them think things will never work out. The other half believe in magic. It's like a war between them.”
I had time to ponder that I vacillate between sides of that war depending on who I am around, circumstances, and my internal emotional state. Up there in the air, in that moment, I was on an emotional high too. I was in the “believing in magic” half Anna describes. And I was scared I’d move into the “things will never work out” half once I landed.
When I left LA I was feeling particularly expansive in my life and relationships. But planes don’t stay in the air forever – I too needed to land – and luckily for me nothing grounds me down to earth than returning to where I’m from with the people who made me.
As expected, family time was a soup of regressing into old versions of myself, lingering old drama, new realities of aging, heaviness, tenderness, coldness – all with a side of bright moments when I was present enough to notice them. Coming down a couple notches into realism was healthy for me, although I resisted losing the optimistic high I was feeling while buckled in my aisle seat watching Beginners.
Now back in my own time zone, space, routines, and autonomy, I feel more myself. In talking to others about their own unique complexity in family dynamics and holiday gatherings, I’m reminded that even when circumstances are vastly different there’s often an overlap in feelings – versions of feeling misunderstood, nostalgic, lonely, or comparing one’s own situation to those of others.
I am sturdier now and therefore I don’t have to worry about being knocked down from a good emotional place because my emotions aren’t as fickle as they've been. I can be joyful and go share joy even if it depletes my supply a little because I can replenish it.
As Richard Rohr says,
“Joy can't be sustained unless you consciously give it away."
I’m trying to trust feelings to move through me if I let them, without resisting. Uncomfortable emotions come, but eventually they go and inevitably joyful ones come around again too. And that cycle is the magic I believe in.
Which side of that war are you on today? (I know for me it changes daily.)
Do you believe in magic? Or that nothing works out?
I wish all of us a new year of more days on the side of magic than not.
Here’s a good New Year’s Eve journaling prompt…
-What helps you stay on the side of believing in magic?
-How can you do those things more this year?
If you want more of where this came from, I have a workshop called Resolutions Reframe that I’ve been teaching since 2014 and now you can do it here anytime! Alone or with your partner or a friend? You’ll have access forever. My best friend just told me she's doing it today which is the highest compliment and review.
It’s my favorite time of the year to journal and this is a process I use to set goals or manifest. We start by reflecting on the year and take inventory of what's working and what isn’t to get a clear picture of what’s been holding you back. Then we determine what you’re ready to let go of and with that new space, we start to figure out what you want to focus on in the year ahead in each of 8 life areas.
Lastly, it covers how to incorporate journaling into your ongoing routine to increase your creative potential and tap into your emotions to keep you moving in the direction of how you want to feel this year. Email me if you have any questions or if you want to try it, more information here. Discount code: twentytwo for 22% off all kits!
Happy New Year!
Love,
Katie
PS. Here are a few more journaling prompts aka good questions to talk to your intuition through…
BACK QUESTIONS:
-What do you regret this year?
-Who did you invest in this year?
-Where did you invest in?
-What was fun this year?
-What resources did you use this year?
-Where do you feel most resourced?
-Where do you feel depleted?
FORWARD QUESTIONS:
-Where do you want to move towards?
-Where do you want to move away from?
-Who do you want to invest in more?
-How do you want to feel?
-Where do you want your focus to pool?
**If you want more of where this came from try the workshop…
NEW YEAR RESOLUTION REFRAME WRITING WORKSHOP
A FEW LINKS:
-Friend of the podcast Dree sent me this NYT Article that I found helpful on the family dynamics.
-Friend of the podcast Savala wrote this about New Year's resolutions. I particularly loved this part:
“Entering a new year with no dreams of newness. With no plan for fixing what’s wrong with you or attaining what’s been out of your reach. With nothing to slough off except the wish to fit in. With, instead, acceptance of the unacceptable.”
ANNA FUSCO ON MEETING LORD COWBOY, COMMUNITY, & MUCH MORE
This week on the program is artist Anna Fusco, who you might know as Lord Cowboy. Anna works across drawing, writing, and digital illustration. She has a print shop and writes a newsletter called "Unsupervised" that is read by thousands of people, including me. We caught up over zoom a few weeks ago, where we discussed everything from over-processing, care vs. worry, accountability of living in community, to how she met “Lord Cowboy” and ended up living where she is. Anna and I connected after Christine sent me one of her posters that articulated something we all crave in some degree: connection + community. I’m far from the only person who resonated with that poster and in this episode Anna shared where she was when she wrote the words. I loved speaking with her as much as I love her paintings, drawings, and her writing.
LISTEN
SPACE BETWEEN THE SPACE: LEAVING PLACES BETTER THAN YOU FOUND THEM, FRIENDSHIP, BEAUTY & MORE
Erin Lovell Verinder is an herbalist, wellness expert, and writer. She's also my dear friend. Her husband Noah is a fellow plant enthusiast, prolific designer, and strategist who most recently designed the new book Erin just wrote, The Plant Clinic. He's also a baker, reader, gardener, and one of my dearest friends and fellow Michiganders.
In this episode we discuss finding and prioritizing beauty, thoughtfulness, creative process and collaboration, lessons on friendship, advocating for yourself creatively, trusting instincts, trust in general, finding community, and more.
NEW YEAR RESOLUTION REFRAME
And if you did listen this year and liked it leaving a review either for Let It Out and/or Spiraling if you to have time actually helps more than you know…
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you so much for being here. I love writing you here. more soon…
WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ON THE PODCAST THIS YEAR? TELL ME ON LET IT OUT'S IG WHENEVER YOU GET A CHANCE.
images: stills from Beginners (2010)
I definitely believe in magic, not the big bada boom kind but the tiny every day.